U9O.net: You and I Know.

i was very hungry, and i was too lazy to drive, so i ordered pizza.

i ordered:

medium thin-crust pizza with pepperoni, green onions, and mushrooms
2 liter pepsi
buffalo wings, mild, with ranch dressing

and it was only 16 dollars! miracles i say! miracles!

while i was waiting, i got bored so….

hungry? here is a virtual slice for your enjoyment

I finished detailing the story about the big log. If you didn’t read that blog, it’s about a big piece of fecal matter. Visit the site.

You’ll be very amused or very disgusted.

i saw a friend from high school i haven’t talked to in almost a year (i lost touch with her, she sort of dropped out of sight suddenly from my perspective). she was very sweet, very cute, very intelligent, and was in a class with me for academic decathalon. i imed her, and i asked her how she was, how she liked princeton (she was going to go there), and how much she learned. she said, she learned a lot, but not at school, because she didn’t go. i asked her why, and i found out she was sick for a very long time from a lung infection, and that she would start school this coming september. i asked her what she learned:

her: i learned that it’s okay to be sad
her: i learned that it’s hard to be happy
her: i learned that the body is an amazing creation
her: i learned that time is not real
her: i learned that i have a lot left to learn
e y s a n: you might as well have learned everything i did. you seem more mature for some odd reason, not that you weren’t ridiculously mature in high school
her: I will not be afflicted at men’s not knowing me; I will be afflicted that I do not know men
her: what have you learned?
e y a a n: the last quote…
her: it’s something that lao-tse said – i meant that i want to learn what you have learned
her: or at least know
e y s a n: i learned that words can do more than harm, and that one sentence spoken to a father can change a relationship forever.
her: i’m strangely serious today – maybe it was the chocolate
e y s a n: i learned that friendships are made and maintained, and nobody is going to do it for me.
e y s a n: i learned that happiness is more perception than reality.
her: god is a state of mind
her: :P
her: sorry
e y s a n: i learned that relationships are ephemeral, and that love is fickle.
her: what do you think about love?
her: you really think that it is fickle or that if it is fickle, then it’s not really love?
e y s a n: right now i’m sort of bitter/ anxious/ insecure, but in about a week or two, i’ll get out of it and i’ll tell you for sure.
her: i hope that the bitterness won’t stay with you
e y s a n: oh it won’t! i’m not bitter about a lot of things anymore, haha
e y s a n: i learned that your state of mind is the only thing in your way do accomplishing anything
e y s a n: i overcame insecurity and doubt, and i hope i’m a person who people look up to now. i hope.
e y s a n: your quesion threw me off
e y s a n: i asked you a question, but i didn’t expect it back. i’m happy in a sense that you learned from things.
her: i dunno – it’s just everything is so much more complicated and yet simple than i ever expected it to be
e y s a n: isn’t that so true?
her: it’s so weird how we put things on pedestals when we don’t know any better
her: and then one day you wake upand you realize that everyone is human – especially yourself

We immediately questioned people in the vicinity, and it turned out to be this guy named Rory, an SAE frat guy. We didn’t expect this monstrosity from him. Immediately, I asked him, with all due seriousness, “Are you an anal virgin? Not that I care if you’re gay man, but seriously, that thing is absolutely HUGE.”

“No. I mean yes. Bastard.”

Then we all started laughing.

I’m full. Very full. I shouldn’t have ordered that last crunchy roll. Rolls always fill me up.

I’m going to try and install the guestbook so I can get some responses from people.

Oh! I almost forgot! I was walking back to my dorm when I hear a loud disgusted scream emanating from the bathroom. I was rather curious, so I poked my head in, to see my friend Patrick with the most incredulous look on his face.

I asked, “Dude, what’s wrong?”

He replied with a hysterical laugh, “Duuude, there is like the BIGGEST piece of shit in the toilet man. It’s like a fucking LOG.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah seriously, go take a look.”

I catiously looked, expecting some sort of prank, but yeah, to make the short story even shorter, we took pictures and a short movie clip showing how the thing won’t flush. I’ll post them as soon as I can. Maybe I’ll make some kind of website as well.

Coming Next: The Usual Suspects

I woke up today and since i’ve been sleeping with contacts on (i know, i know it’s bad okay?), i had to lay there for about 10 minutes before they sort of rehydrated itself back to normal and i could see again.

i’m going to go eat sushi in 30 minutes with some of friends. hamachi, maguro, albacore. mmhm.

– Good Dave says: Sushi is good. Lots of Omega-3 fatty acids to help boost intellectual prowess.

– Bad Dave says: Fuck eating fish! I’d rather eat some pussy! Oh I can’t? Damn. Sushi is okay then. Next best thing!

Dancing while the
shadows of light
dances around
me
i turn my head
to see nothing
the pulsing of music
rippling the air beneath
my feet and the trails
of feeling lapping quietly
at my shoes, the waves
of people back and forth
back and forth around
me
my heart stops beating
eternity, yet
i
am more alive than
ever before, breathing
the salty tang of the
sea breeze
the ground
slowly easing into
light and
i
sense someone in
the ocean distance
knows my name
i
look closer
and it he she is gone
i
dance with shadows and beings
forever in the night

Quote from previous article on slate.com

The success of GNC and the nutritional supplement industry illustrates how eager our culture is to embrace mood-altering drugs–as long as they don’t actually work.

i’m considering possible ways i could design the layout for this blog. should i go for the needlessly, superficially intelligent and deep, or something clean and simple which would at the same time also be somewhat arrogant (my content is so great you haaaaaveto read this, dear).

i guess i’ll sleep on it, because the super nachos i ate from alertos (a local 24 hour mexican eatery– thank god for those place, i don’t know what i would do without the dose of hearty grease and artery clogging ingredients), is messsing with my thinking, which is also the reason why for this blog, my grammatical skills are less than par.

i’ve been kind of moody the last few days. it reminds me of last summer, after reading an article on slate.com about st. john’s wort, when i decided to take 3 of those herbal remedies a day. i had severe mood swings. at work, i would feel like crying for no reason, and then quickly become manically creative for the next 3 hours pounding away at the keyboard like mad with a stupid grin on my face. it was almost as bad as taking xenadrine, which i still take every now and then. okay i take it twice a week before i dance so i can last for 5-6 hours.

about xenadrine. it’s marketed as a weight-loss pill. i’m not sure about that particular effect, but i have to say it’s the closest thing to legal tweak ever invented. what is it you ask? caffeine? yes, about 2 cups of coffee worth. it also have tons of other ingredients, but most notably ephedrine, which is a precursor to the real amphetamines that people in places like fresno are addicted to. i gave a free sample, haha, to a soccer player to try for his practice, and the next day, he bought half the bottle. i made 5 bucks. i didn’t want to sell, because i use it to help me study every now and then (have you ever not slept for 2 days in a row? it’s really hard) for my CS finals. but now i have 2 bottles, so it’s all gravy. if you take about 3 at one time, you feel like you are seriously on drugs. my friend aaron, who has tried every drug in the world has said that he’s addicted to xenadrine because it keeps him off of other drugs. which is okay i guess. but more people died on ephedrine related products than ecstasy this year, so i’m wondering whether he really made the right situation.

After an intense 4 hours of work, i finally got cynicworld.com up and running. If you are reading this, then most likely you have come through cynicworld.com. For an explanation of features, go to the site and click on things. if you think you are a decent writer, i suggest you check out the “project” section.

Ok, now back to the regularly scheduled blog.

I finally fininshed the Everything site for tony. Check it out if you want to see some cool flash. Or not. I kind of hurried the thing and if you don’t like you can kiss my ass.

i was showing some of the pictures i took of the puppy and my goodness, i must say she is the most adorable puppy in the world. i’ll have backgrounds to download in the near future. Oops, i have to go eat now (i know it’s late).

Ciao.

I was going to leave for the dorms at 12:00 sharp, but my mom begged me to stay for just a bit longer, so I guess I am. I took the opportunity to take some pictures of my puppy so I can get sympathy emails from cute girls with intelligence (and if they are reading blogs, then I suppose they are literate at the very least. i hope). then i got bored so i took videos of myself dancing.

i got an idea for a project. i’m going to take black and white pictures of intresting stuff, print them, with a bit of photoshop editting, and write poetry like i used to directly on the photo with some layout tricks and print them on photo paper and frame them for the new apartment i’m going to be living in come june 15th.

i want to go home to the dorms so i can do all of this.

e y s a n: be a cynical person.understand people for who they are and what they want
dj dirtyJAP: i already know taht. now i just want to be happy. know exactly what people want
…
e y s a n: what do i want?
dj dirtyJAP: to be connected with someone, closer than a friend, that will intellectually stimulate you, but at the same time, be able to have fun with you, not be so stuffy. you want to have lived a satisfying life. you want to have your family be a “normal” family, like the ones you used to see on TV. you want ice cream.
e y s a n: i don’t want to think about family until i’m 30, but everything is pretty much on par. even ice cream. i want to drive a porsche
e y s a n: well, ice cream is pretty much universal. i had it yesturday in fact. coldstones, with twix and oreos. it was good
dj dirtyJAP: i dont crave ice cream. very rarely do i ever want ice cream
e y s a n: it was the first ice cream i bought in 6 months
dj dirtyJAP: haha, im so not the normal person. i havent had ice cream in years
e y s a n: oh wow
dj dirtyJAP: not even at bday parties
e y s a n: but most people do
dj dirtyJAP: yeah, most people. “im not most people”
e y s a n: i think i might be. most people want to be happy
dj dirtyJAP: i used to not want to be happy
e y s a n: so is that all?. i just want to find a soulmate and be happy? isn’t that everyone? don’t i have a life? i even like ice cream
e y s a n: god. i’m so boring
dj dirtyJAP: youre normal. thats why people are so easy to predict. as hard as everyone tries to be different.you end up just like the guy who does nothing to change his life. you dont end up somewhere special
e y s a n: that’s rather depressing isn’t it? but it seems so true. everyone is an individual, but everyone is the same
dj dirtyJAP: all those kids that go to raves. even the thugs. all of them are the same.hell, as much as i hate ravers. im one of them
e y s a n: well, raves do provide something that’s missing in our modern society, supposedly
dj dirtyJAP: which would be?
e y s a n: from an article i read, it fills the void that stems from our techno-infused modern society litered with advertisements and meaningless chatter from the media and everyoen else
dj dirtyJAP: it fills the “cheap-thrills you get when you see a chick on e doing something sexual, flashing, or something like that” void that i have in my life

i couldn’t sleep, so i’m blogging. i think it’s going to be yet another addictive thing i’ll try to quit in the future with less than stellar results. i’m anxious to get back to my dorm room at UCI, so I can develop a front end for this blog. i don’t want to really publicize this or any other work of mine until i’m done.

it sucks letting down your friends. i was supposed to help tony with his fiance’s C++ homework, but i failed to come through because i’m still home. i’ll do it tommorow after i rest up from a tiring weekend. it’s supposedly due at 12:00 midnight tomomrow for 20% off (because it’s two days late).

taking with me– that is, stuff from home– are the following:
.: “Audrey — her real story”, a biography by Alexander Walker

.: My coffee mug that my friend Shinah gave me way back when I was a junior in high school. It’s a nice blue metallic sheen and fits into my cupholder. The only other thing that fits are Coke cans. That’s because I’m addicted to Coke.

.: My basketball. I haven’t played in a while. I miss “balling”. It’s like dancing to rules and points.

.: A newly found sense of purpose– I think seeing my mom build her business up to something huge has motivated me to really look for a long time job so i can quit leeching off my mom and finally gain the last bit of independance i’ve been missing.

running through rocks barefooted,
with broken branches in the way,
chasing something but I,
I don’t know why

there is something wonderfully wild and wicked about driving while angry. for your info, i drive a 99 a4 (but don’t go assuming things about me because of my age, because they are definately not true), and when i drive angry, i hit speeds of 110 mph. the rpm is a constant 4000, and there is a soft menacing roar from the wind and your steering wheel shudders ever so imperceptively. i did this with a black puppy in my lap one handed. but i don’t get pissed often, so you know how it is. maybe you do. i don’t know– but there is a feeling of suicidal excitement when you don’t even look to the side when switching lanes because you are going so fast and passing everyone else that you don’t have time to and you probably went past that car that you would have run into.

i had a black integra following me and highbeaming me. the asian guy inside i guess saw that i had bleached hair and yellow glasses and most likely mistook me for an asian racer, so he started revving and me being in an automatic i decided to give a bemused i-don’t-really-give-a-fuck-what-you-do look. he apparently wanted to race, so i decided to slow down to a manegeable 70 while he probably pressed the button that makes his car go really fast, and he sped up way past me and promptly got a ticket. idiot.

oh yeah, small matter, i almost got into an accident before that happened. but it wasn’t my fault and i wasn’t driving fast at the time.

i should have my license taken away. i really should. when i’m angry. i’m a menace to society.

i couldn’t really sleep, and my sister went to bed, so she isn’t typing up her computer, which is the reason i’m posting, or blogging or whatever. i’m obviously very new to this.

dear reader,

ps should i say blog or post? should is say posting or blogging?
pss i think it’s cooler sounding to say blog. don’t you?

my sister’s monitor sucks. it’s a 17 inch monitor, but the colors are incredibly dull. okay maybe i’m just saying this from a standpoint of a graphics person, but everyone should spring for a good quality monitor (ie trinitron, for example). not only will you get the message of the person who wrote this or that particular page or site, but you’ll see the minute details as well. Also, if you spend the $50 for a better monitor, you’ll undoubtly save your eyes too. Cheap parents who buys a 21 inch trinitron for themselves and a 17 inch Orion monitor for their daughter like in my sister’s case? Ok you can pass.

having said that, i’m almost done with the “Everything” site. I’m really excited for Tony. it means so much to him that he’s throwing a rave that actually is going to be what he envisions in a party. he really feels like he can change the san diego raving scene. and i think he can, too.

i’m at home, and our family’s black pug puppy is nipping at my toes. she’s so adorable. her vision isn’t that great yet, so she kind of just squints at you until she hears your voice, and then she comes storming through whatever obstacles in her way to greet you. a week ago, she planted herself on my stomach while i was sleeping and promptly took a nap.

i took my car in for a routine servicing (the windshield wiper cracked, the right rear speaker doesn’t work, ha) in the morning and they retracted the offer for a free loaner car upon noting that i was only 20. the guy as the dealership had the gall to pretend to be surprised that i wasn’t the mandatory 25. they offered a shuttle ride back home, which i gratefully took, and when i arrived home, duffle bag and all, i fell asleep on my own bed.

i woke up at 4. and i called the dealership to find that the car would be ready at 5. i smacked myself on the head soon after, realizing that i had no means to get there. after a few minutes of deliberate thought, i realized i could call a taxi service. upon finding an old 1998 yellow pages (which was being used as a stand for a garbage pail in the garage), i called the taxi service. an efficient but a sharply latin-accented lady answered the phone and notified me that it would arrive in 15 minutes. how easy.

the taxi, one of those pre-1990 chevrolet models, picked me up, and i situated myself on well-worn leather. the guy ahead of me, to my complete surprise, was white, and looked about 50 — aside from a slight bulge around his stomache area, he looked heathy, in that middle-western cornfield kinda way. he spoke perfect english that wasn’t accented indian or spanish.

we made small talk, and soon after he was telling me the story of his life. he moved from san francisco about 3 months hence. his wife of 20 years divorced him 5 months ago. two years before, she suddenly remarked that he didn’t love her anymore because he worked too hard.

he continued, “I loved her so much, Lisa. I thought if I worked more and bought her the stuff we always dreamed about, she’d appreciate it. I provided for my children, they are 13 and 17, and shit, the older one’s birthday is in a week, i should get him something.”

I replied, “What did you do?”

“I used to own 8 travel agencies. I did pretty well.”

“How come you are driving a taxi?”

“Well when she told me I didn’t love her anymore, I told her I could prove my love to her by giving her everything she wanted.”

“And then she divorced you? That seems kind of shady to me.” (images of a sordid love affair was running through my mind)

“Yeah, it was shady. Well, around 2 years ago, she joined this special church. I think they brainwashed her or something?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, she lost all the travel agencies, I don’t know what she did with them. She lives in a small apartment now– we used to live in a nice 7 bedroom house.”

“What happened?”

“Well, I saw her write a check to her church for hundred and twenty thousand fuckin’ dollars once….”

“Good lord!”

“Damn right. It was one of the biggest mistakes I ever made. Truth be told, women are dingy. That’s all I have to say about that. I think we should have paid more than a fucking rib for a woman. You get what you pay for you know.”

And as he pulled into the dealership, I gave him his money and a two dollar tip and shook my head.