The Individuality Paradox
I was on campus the other day to pick up a portion of payment for a web site I’m helping this guy with. It’s a piercing web site, soon to be titled holethat.com, and I met him the previous quarter while browsing for stuff for my labaret piercing at the vender fairs that UCI has every now and then. He needed a web designer/programmer, and I was wanting some money, so that was that.
He’s a pretty good salesman, plenty of banter and he knows how to sell to kids browsing through his wares.
“Hey pretty lady, what can I get for you today? Why that? That looks really great on you! If you get two, I’ll cut you a deal, and if you bring a friend and she buys, you get it for free! So what do you say?”, he’d ask with the utmost enthusiasm and earnestness and it didn’t matter whether the girl was wearing too-tight pants on a too-fat body.
The response usuallly is a smile and a sale from students unaccustomed to such tactics amongst the gloomy balding middle aged thirty year old persian/arabian/asian/other/unknown males usually silent with folded arms.
A moderately tall asian guy walked up, with no apparent piercings, and started browsing as if he was an expert. He was dressed pure emo. With a billed-beanie somehow not mussing up his bangs swept across his forehead, with a sporty navy track jacket, with tight-faded pants, moderately spiked black belt, with some kind of faded t-shirt beneath his medium built frame, he was the epitome of individuality and pure unadulterated free spirit.
“HEEY guy! What can I do for you today?”, asked Kevin, the vender.
“Uhhh… I was just looking…”, said the fashionably fortunate fellow in a surprised, slightly breathy tone, no doubt caught completely by surprise.
“Ohhhh.”, paused Kevin, realizing the lack of facial ornamanets. He boomed, “So…. don’t be shy? What do you need?”
“Umm…. a… earrings”, came the response almost faint with nausea and embarassment.
“Ohh that’s fine! I have that too!”, Kevin responded without hesitation, and after a moment procurning a box of hooped earrings.
“Oh okay….”, the guy mumbled as he visibly deflated…, “well, I dunno.. was thinking about getting something done–”
“Thinking about getting a piercing? I can cut you a great deal! I know of a few people around Newpor–”
His banter was interrupted as soon as he realized that someone else browsing through his wares: a medium height, pleasant, but blank looking asian girl, with no apparent piercings, with a billed beanie, her stylish banged hair cutting a striking line across her forehead, with a stylishly spiked slim black leather belt looped around her fabulously faded tight blue jeans. With a halfway parted sporty navy track jacket. She was the paragon of individuality.
“WOW!”, Kevin exclaimed, “You guys should like, get hooked up or something… you guys are like. like.. twins!! You guys are like exactly alike!”
“Huh- what- like, uh, like I have a boyfriend..”, hissed the girl with a forced giggle while emphatically jumping slightly up and down on her toes, before looking over the table to see the nearly identicaly dressed individual on the other side.
Her mouth seemed to open in stages, for half a second searching for words, and then closing, and then opening, and then finally closing. She blushed. Then slowly she started walking away.
The guy murmured, “Uhh… I’ll be back..”, and he walked away with his individual strut.
Kevin turned to me, confused, “Uhh.. I don’t know what happened there, jeez, what’s wrong with people.. can’t take a joke? Whatever, they weren’t gonna buy anything anyway… they are like..”, he searched for words and gave up, and then brushed it off as he focused on a sorority girl wearing her letters who had watched the whole thing take place and was laughing hysterically.
“I’ll take 3 of your belly button piercings! The pink one, the double edged one here, and…. that one right there”, she said while laughing, while pointing out various items of jewelry
“Allright! Good lady! And if you bring a friend, I’ll give you another for free!”
